Very often I felt like surrendering and didn’t understand why the more merit I made the more degrading my life was until I became penniless. I felt as if I was in the dark. However, no matter how bad it was I would not give in and I chose to fight to my death. I changed from being downhearted to taking up the challenge. Finally I found out the best solution was not to think about it and to motivate myself to keep on making merit with an assurance that one day the merit will certainly yield fruit.
